Forgiven. Not Forgotten.

January 30th, 2010

Am I upset with someone?

Absolutely not. However, something came up in a conversation I was having with a person struggling with someone who had hurt them. This person was trying to figure out the “forgive and forget” thing. The problem with this is, we are people, with memories. It is impossible to completely forget what others have or have not done to us. The good news is, we are told to forgive. No matter how hard the hurt has hit you, forgive.

Let me explain:

If you fail to forgive someone of something they have done to you, it is only holding you prisoner of the life you have ahead of you. It will eat away at you, will make you bitter, and turn your heart cold. Did I say it is easy? No. Let me share my own experience.

I came into contact with someone who became a very dear friend to me. I will not share what happened, but this person hurt me, and I didn’t think forgiveness was possible. Then I realized that if I do not let go of what this person did to me, I would not be able to move on happily. I was so bitter because of what had happened, it began to drift into other parts of my life, affecting my relationships with other people. I am not talking about romantic relationships. There was a very thick trust that was broken in an instant. Having this distrust finding its way to other parts of my life was a huge red flag. If I did not turn from the bitterness, it would soon take over everything I held in my heart. I forgave this person. Did I forget? Not at all. Do I trust this person? Not in the slightest. Will I? Never.

My point is, if you don’t let things go, you will hold onto it and it will hang over your heart, causing walls to build. If there are walls, you cannot let anyone in, and the hurt hanging there will cause you to beat at the people who are inside the walls until they are tired of being beaten and walk out on their own. I’m not sure an empty heart feels good. Thankfully, I never got to that point.

I am not saying to let yourself be¬†walked on, being hurt over and over again. I am saying to walk with an open and cautious heart, but also with a forgiving one. Do not hold onto things that hurt- they will only create more hurt, embrace the things that make you smile- they are life’s most precious treasures, live life one day at a time- you are only promised this moment, and be thankful- life is truly amazing.

One Response to “Forgiven. Not Forgotten.”

  1. MoondogKP on February 1, 2010 5:41 am

    Excellent post as usual. Some of us need to figure out how to rip down the walls now.

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