Puzzle Pieces

January 30th, 2010

Relationships. Anyone who knows me well, knows I’ve had my fair share of them. This is not something I am proud of. However, being in, and out, and in, and out…of various relationships, has taught me a heck of a lot about them.

In the last 24 hours, I’ve had 2 people bring up relationships to me. One being my sister, the other being a friend. These were 2 different situations. They were down about their situations, but I told them both the same thing. A friend of mine from high school gave me this piece of advice, and although I haven’t always found it easy to remind myself of it — my friends have often had to remind me what I’ve said to them after a break-up — it’s so true:

No matter how perfect you think your significant other is, no matter how happy you may be, and no matter how many great times you have together, it may not work out. If it doesn’t work out, that doesn’t mean your world has come to an end. It just means that God has a different plan for you, someone even more perfect for you out there waiting for you to be ready for them.

Don’t ever put up with anyone who does not treat you with respect, and never settle for anything less than ***exactly*** what you want.  –This doesn’t mean stalk a girl/guy until they give in. I am talking about settling for someone who lacks the qualities you want in a significant other.–

What makes the perfect relationship? These are a few reasons couples are together:

  • They are best friends, can tell each other everything. But that alone doesn’t make for a perfect relationship.
  • Maybe they are very attractive. Many people are. This doesn’t mean they are perfect for you. I know many attractive people with whom I would never consider a relationship. What do you do with a superficial relationship when beauty fades, as it always does?… There isn’t enough plastic surgery in the world to keep a youthful look. You get enough of that, and you’re gonna end up looking very, well, for lack of a better word, plastic. Fake. Ew. Attractive? I think not. Okay, I am done with the rant. —Have you noticed that I am very against the superficial ways of the world??
  • Maybe everyone else thinks they are great, or that they are great for you. This, too, doesn’t make for a perfect relationship. A good person doesn’t necessarily mean they are good for you.

There are several things that need to match up, or it just isn’t going to work… You need to make sure that you are happy. Going back to a blog I wrote some time ago, you need to make yourself happy without a significant other, first. If you aren’t happy with yourself and the direction you are going in life, you won’t be happy, no matter who you are dating.

  • Step 1: Decide what you want out of life, and what you want in a significant other.
  • Step 2: Find someone who wants the same things out of life, and who wants qualities you possess in their significant other.

Finding the perfect significant other is really like putting a puzzle together. If it isn’t a perfect fit, you’re going to be poking, pushing hard, ruining, the piece —other person— to make it fit, make it work. When it is the piece that fits perfectly, it’s easy to put in, and it makes the puzzle look good, “picture perfect.” Puzzles aren’t easy. Okay, 12 piece puzzles are easy. But in a world full of puzzle pieces, you may have to try to put several pieces in before you find one that fits next to you.

I guess my point to this blog is, don’t dwell too long on how much being without your significant other is hurting, and look at the positive side of the break-up. A break-up means you can continue your search for the perfect piece to the puzzle called Your Life. I can promise you, you will find the perfect piece to your puzzle. Don’t worry about timing, God knows what He’s doing.

I could go on forever about relationships. I’ve had them all, the good, the bad and the ugly. Best friend types, physical attraction types, abusive types… No person is perfect, but with the person who is perfect for you, your relationship will be perfect. –A perfect relationship isn’t all butterflies and balloons, but a perfect relationship is always growing.–

I will leave you with this: Keep searching, until you find the perfect man or woman for you. As I always said in high school (People I went to high school with can find this in their yearbooks): Have fun, be good, smile and keep your head up. Life is amazing. Don’t let it pass you by.

-Originally posted: 09-03-09

2 Responses to “Puzzle Pieces”

  1. “I Love You.” at Inside the Mind of a Munkie… on June 29, 2010 11:22 am

    […] Look for your “10.” You’re gonna go through several 7s, 8s, and even some 9s. But they can’t all be 10s. If you want to read more on breaking off relationships, I suggest you read my blog titled, “Puzzle Pieces.” […]

  2. Jade @ Tasting Grace on May 20, 2012 3:07 am

    So true! And I’d add: nobody is perfect, but you’ll find someone perfect for you. The question is, can you love them, flaws and all? That’s the key. Love someone for who they are, not who you want them to be. And never try to change a man. It simply won’t work. The only person who can change a man is himself and he has to REALLY want to.

    Lovely post! Found you through Claire La Zebnik’s link up!

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