You are having trouble dealing with something on your own. You are with a friend, and they notice something just isn’t right. They ask. They always do. And because you can’t take the stress of keeping the pain to yourself, you cave. You tell them what you are going through. You start, or end, with those four famous words. Please. Don’t. Tell. Anyone. You have said them, I have said them.
There are people who are very good at picking up when something is wrong. Most people can tell the difference in a close friend. They ask and get their answers. A few days, maybe a week later, you hear what you have told that person… from someone else.
Now most of you are thinking, “You need to find better friends.” Don’t fool yourself. We all have friends who cannot be trusted. There are very few people I trust with my secrets. Why? Because I have gone through this secret-telling situation more than I’d care to admit.
Why do people tell others’ secrets? I hate that I have to write on this… It shouldn’t be an issue. Friends should be just that. Friends. Most… are not.
I have found that the most common reason for telling others’ secrets is to draw attention to themselves. Wait, how does telling my secrets get them attention? — Because they are “in the know.” They know who, what, where, when and why. And for a little while, they’re paid the curious mind’s attention. There are people in this world who feed off the envy of others. It may not be envy of their looks or intelligence. Sometimes, they want to be envied as the one who knows what is going on in others’ lives.
***NEWS FLASH*** You are only going to be envied until some other dramatic situation has surfaced, and you don’t know what’s going on. In other words, the attention of “in the know,” is very, very, short-lived. You are better off being known for being trustworthy. You gain much more respect.
***NEWS FLASH, part 2*** Those who are asking you for the scoop… Probably don’t trust you. And if they do, they are stupid. There is a saying that I love. “Those who gossip with you, gossip about you.” I believe whole-heartedly, that this is the truth. And this alone, is why I do not trust some of my friends. I love all of my friends. They are all wonderful to be around. But not all of them can be trusted.
Which, brings me to my next point. GOSSIP. When someone talks about another person’s life, it more often than not becomes a lie. They tend to twist and stretch the truth into something that is slightly more interesting… To get the “are you serious?!” reaction from someone else. Why people get such a high off of seeing someone in disbelief, I will never understand. But one person twists it, the second person twists it, the third person twists it even more… and by the time it gets back to the original person, it is nearly, if not completely, not the same story at all. It’s like playing “telephone” when we were kids. Fun to play, but really has a serious lesson in it. The story changes with each person.
Am I innocent in the subject of gossiping and leaking secrets? Absolutely not. Neither are you. We are human. But as with everything in my life, I strive to be better at it. It’s one of those things that was more popular in high school. To me, gossip just isn’t fun anymore. And like I said, I’d rather be respected as someone who can be trusted. Furthermore, I have my own life to worry about. I don’t need to talk about the lives of others. There is enough going on in my own.
So, please. When someone says those words to you…. don’t. tell. anyone.
Make the most of today.