If you know me at all, you know that saying ‘no’ isn’t easy for me. I am in a constant state of wanting to help and fix things; wanting to do what I can to make other people’s lives easier. It’s in my nature, and I get it from my mom. We are both helpers, fixers. My closest friends tell me that I just need to ‘get some ‘mean’ in me,’ but they all know how impossible it is for me to be that way.
I care about everyone around me, almost to a fault. Alright, not ‘almost,’ it is a flaw in my personality. I know Jesus said, ‘serve others,’ and I am thankful that my nature allows me to do that. However, recently, I have been absolutely worn out. My many ‘hats’ are getting exhausting, and if I don’t make a change soon, it’s going to do some serious damage.
Please think twice before judging this decision… With every commitment I’ve made, and everything I’ve said I will be able to do, I have had very little down time, and almost no time to and for myself. As bad as I feel for doing it, I need to start saying ‘no,’ and I need to take a step back from everyone and everything. My time an attention has been pulled in 15,000 different directions, and spreading myself too thinly has taken away from important things in my life, including myself. It’s taken a toll on me, and if I don’t take care of myself, I can’t be helpful at all, and that would be twice as difficult for me.
Another reason for this change is my writing. I have been missing from my website, and no one needs to point that out to me. Living a busy life has prevented me – distracted me – from writing here, and I feel awful about that. I miss writing, but haven’t had the energy to write, after spending all of my time attending to other things. On top of writing for the website, there are six (yes, six) novels rolling around in my head, and without time to myself to do what I enjoy most, those will never make it to paper, and nothing will be posted here. Getting my stories from my imagination to paper has been a dream of mine since I was very young, and I need to focus on that, for myself.
Why am I posting this on munkiebabble.com? Because I need to tell all of the people I know, and I don’t want any of you to take it personally. Please understand how hard it is to write this to all of you. This doesn’t mean I want to stop helping and being ‘there’ for you; nothing could be more untrue. Please be understanding if and when I say ‘no,’ and I will try my best not to push anyone too far away. If you feel I am doing this to you, please don’t hesitate to point it out to me. It’s hard for me to say no, and I am honestly going to need your help and understanding in this. I need to take care of myself.
Now, for the other half of this change…
As many of you know, Munkie Babble isn’t just a blog. MunkieBabble is also on Twitter, to give a little smile to my followers every day. I am only one person, and if I make one person smile every day, I am successful. However, Twitter gives me the opportunity to do this for more than one person. I am determined to make a difference by shining positivity and showing my individual quirkiness.
Last week, something happened that confused a lot of my friends. Let me explain. Sometime last week (my days run together,) I was made aware of some online creepers. Unfortunately, people aren’t all innocent, and not all can be trusted. It scared me, and in a panic of protecting myself, I created a new (locked) Twitter account, switching the names, so only people I approve of and know, can see my tweets. I thought this would fix everything.
However, last night at Bible study, we were discussing the gifts and talents God gave us, and whether or not we are using them to our full potential. I was explaining to the other ladies how Twitter works, and why I use it. While explaining myself, I quickly realized how locking my Twitter account limited my true purpose for using Twitter. I believe I have a gift for spreading positivity and smiles across the world; to those I know, and to those I don’t know. It is not my only gift, but I believe that in those simple tweets, I am making a difference.
So, I’ve decided to go back to the ‘old’ way I used Twitter. The private account for personal things and my friends, and the public account for making a difference in the lives of people I don’t know. I apologize to anyone who has been confused by this recent change. Friends: you don’t need to do anything, go ahead and follow one or both accounts. To those I don’t know personally, please don’t be offended when I don’t accept your follow request. I am doing this simply to protect myself.
I didn’t plan for this post to be this long… I thought it would only be a couple of paragraphs. But as all of you know, I tend to ramble, and I love the way my fingers feel when they are hitting the keys. It’s a writer thing… 😉
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