Munkie Babbles… Or Lack Thereof.

June 13th, 2014

MunkieSo… I know I have been MIA on MunkieBabble lately… Or well, for nearly a year. My sister, of all people, was the one who pointed out exactly how long it had been since my last post… and made me feel guilty for not posting anything to be read. There’s a reason for the missing Munkie… A lot of little reasons, really. But one pretty big one…

The truth is… I have lost all ability to write anything worth posting. I have tried to write blogs four separate times in the last year, and all have failed miserably. I have come up with a topic… rolled it around for a while, and had a great direction in mind. Then… I got to my keyboard and couldn’t seem to get coherent words strung together to save my life. A couple of weeks ago was the last time I tried to write. It was horrible. I failed in ways that are utterly embarrassing. Well, embarrassing to me. I decided I was done writing… I had failed “long enough.” I was ready to call Tim, and tell him to shut down the MunkieBabble site… I just didn’t have it anymore.

I was pretty discouraged that night… I really believed that my days as a writer were over. Thinking about it for the last couple of weeks, I realized the problem. I have been trying to force myself to come up with things that would change the world. First of all, things that change the world are never forced. Second, I have been holding myself to a standard that is utterly unreachable. I have always been this way, in every part of my life. I have expected nothing but brilliance out of myself… and wouldn’t accept anything less.

The fact is, I am a writer. The way my fingers feel hitting keys is something that only writers understand. It’s a feeling of freedom – a feeling of peace. My fingers belong on the keyboard… and I need to continue to write. When I started writing on MunkieBabble, I was out to change the world. I don’t think that will ever go away, but I am a different person than I was 4 1/2 years ago, and my priorities and view on life in general has changed. I need to accept that I am not who I once was. (Honestly, I THANK GOD that I am not who I was then.)

I am unsure of the direction of MunkieBabble at this point… But I do know I am going to be making my writing a priority. I am probably not going to write endless earth-shattering posts… But I will be around and keep you guys updated on my thoughts and things going on in my life.

Where have I been? What am I doing?

This last year has been a whirlwind. I have a brilliant little boy (WHO IS ALMOST 9?!?!?!?!) … and he takes up most of my time. He’s one of the greatest friends God gave me and my absolute number one priority. I am still his mother first, but most of my adventures are with him by my side. He loves to learn, as do I… and we find so many ways to learn together. I will never feel old enough to have a child the age he is… but he makes me so proud.

I work full time, and I love my job. My job is more than just a job… I have gotten to know so many people over the years, adopting extra parents and grandparents. The rewards in working for them cannot be counted.

I help out at MiniMunkie’s school as much as time allows… and I have been blessed by the people God has placed in my path there. I have met so many awesome people, with such unique and inspiring stories. I can truly say that they’ve taught me so much — God places everyone around me for a reason.

When I am not working, with MiniMunkie, or doing things with school, I spend a lot of my time reading. I have always loved to read. Years ago, I stopped reading almost all together. I told myself (and others) that I just didn’t have time for it. The truth — I didn’t make time to read. I could have, but other things came first.

My priorities have changed in the last couple of years. I have done a complete 180, even if none of you have actually noticed a difference. It’s a personal 180, and I am proud of that. I have changed and grown as a person, and I am happy with where my priorities are. I do need to make room in my days to write… I will do my best. I have a goal to get my novel written. That fell behind when free time became very little. But for those of you waiting to read it… It will come. 🙂

For now, I need to get going… MiniMunkie is on his way through town with my mom, and I’d like to see him for a few minutes before he heads to his next summer vacation destination. It’s kind of sad that my 9 year old has a busier travel schedule than I do. He’s having a great time, though, and that’s what’s important. Until next time…

I am blessed.